Cringeworthy MilSpouse Moments

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to all of my fellow milspos!

To “celebrate” the day, I wanted to share some of my most cringeworthy moments as a new military spouse. Back in the day, as a new Army wife, it was pretty clear that I just had NO clue! I was fresh out of college and barely had any clue how to adult, much less Army wife.

Looking back now, 10 years later, it’s entertaining, albeit embarrassing. Learn from my mistakes. 

Retreat

One of my very first times driving on base was at Fort Leonard Wood. I missed the memo that at 5pm when the canon goes off and the music starts playing, you’re supposed to stop and pay respects to the flag. When driving, you should pull the car over and stop. 

On this particular day, I was driving by one of the main school buildings, right at 5 o’clock when retreat happened. I had NO clue why soldiers on both sides of the parking lot suddenly stopped and saluted. It probably should have been my clue to stop, but I just kept on driving. I recall the dirty looks I got. Now I now why.

ID Card

John and I got married got married before he commissioned from the active duty Green to Gold program. At the time, he was an E5, so that’s what my original dependent ID card said. Once he had commissioned and we arrived at our first duty station, we got decals for the cars.

Back in the day, the decals on windshields let the gate guards know that you were actually military and they’d let you through the gates onto the base. Officers got a blue stripe for their vehicles, and enlisted got a red stripe. You’ll still see the decals on cars around bases sometimes.

Anyway, to get on base, I’d hand the gate guards my ID, which indicated I was an E5’s wife and then they’d look at the windshield which indicated I was driving an officer’s truck. I could only tolerate the strange looks for a few months before I made the call to the ID office to update my card.

When the lady on the phone asked why I needed a new ID card, I could have gone with, “his rank has changed.” But caught off guard all I could muster to spit out was, “Well, he’s an officer now.” This phone call still haunts me. And I always picture myself like that Sponge Bob meme. WeLl He’S aN oFfIcEr NoW. 😫I am SO not that wife. Cringe! 

General officer parking

A little while later, I was hanging out on base with a good friend. I lived off post, but with both of our husbands deployed, I spent a lot of time on base with her. One evening, we ran to the commissary (the grocery store on base) to pick up some quick items for dinner.

Since I lived about half an hour from base, I usually did my grocery shopping at Walmart or Publix. Hardly ever at the commissary. So, as I was pulling into the parking lot, I slid right into one of the parking spaces reserved for a “general officer.” Our husbands were officers; generally.

Thank goodness no one really noticed and we quickly learned the error in our ways. 

I’ve got plenty more stories like this. Accidentally handing the gate guard a credit card instead of ID, awkwardly responding when they say the unit motto, etc.

Ah, to be a young military spouse. It’s such a new world with so much to learn! Even as a more seasoned spouse, there is still plenty to learn. 

If you’re a military spouse can you relate?! I’d love to hear your cringeworthy stories!